Wait. Just wait.

There’s a wire in men’s heads that are connected to his polygyny gene. He CAN and WILL love two women at once. However, most men do not admit this, and it causes major problems. So they find someone they really like, and instead of bringing her home to you and introducing the two of you, and then talking like adults, the man listens to the various voices in his head and says to himself, “I can only love one.” Then he makes a choice, and like many who make this bad choice, he chooses the shiny.

Women are also polygynous. Some are attracted to married men. They find a married man, mostly because her choices are so pathetic in the dating world, and can’t help but want to take him away for her own. Sadly, this is taught to young women, and it’s one of the single most destructive things taught by teachers, the churches, and even preachers. So she takes him instead of joining his family. She was taught, “If you meet a man who is unhappy, then marry him and fix him.” But here’s the secret…

The other woman doesn’t like your husband, she likes you AND your husband, because he’s half you. So when he leaves you, and goes to her, he changes. He becomes less like you, and more like her. She will not like this. In fact, most of the time, it only takes a year or so for her to start despising him. A few months later, they are done. She wants poly, to have the man and the woman, to be part of a large family. She gets the same myth that has failed her so many times before.

So hang out, wait a while longer, and see what goes on. If you find them somewhere, smile, sit down with them, and talk. Not about getting back together, but about the kids, the cars, the house, things HE did at home. You want to remind him that you are still there. Then, throw a wrench into both of their lives, and invite her over for dinner WITHOUT him! I know, it sounds like a recipe for disaster and it could very well turn out that way, but on the other hand, it might not.

In his mind, to justify leaving you, he’s built a new you out of every negative encounter you’ve ever had together. You just need to remind him of the good times. You have to dispel that in a conversation. Show that you’re nice, have a good self confidence, and are a grown adult with restraint and compassion. You can even tell her, “I see why you wanted him, he’s a really good catch, isn’t he?” Your job is to make you look like a great wife, him look like a good husband, and make her look like she has her feet where they don’t belong without saying it.

And I was dead serious… invite her out to lunch. No joke. Not to fight with her, but to get to know her, you two have something in common. Him. He loves you both.

And always keep this in mind. In any other world where your husband wasn’t lied to, he would have made vastly different choices and you would not be where you are. So keep that in mind, all the time, that he was LIED to. So were you.