Okay, listen up. Marriage is a written agreement. Marriage is not the state of the two people, it’s the document that you agree to. You do not have marriage, you have chaos and a power struggle. Marriage is defined as taking two things and combining them into one. If you both take your lives and imagine they’re paint, and throw them at the wall, you’ll get a muddy mess. That’s where you are now. However, if you spend time drawing a house, a garden, and then work to make it real – then put that on paper, that’s a marriage.

Sit down with him, and negotiate for responsibilities. Make it a game. His column, your column. When you’re done, then you need to decide who will be head of the house and that their limits are, and who will be head of the family and what their limits are. When you get that, you’ll be in much better shape. I give you hope. As it is now, you’re just one of the millions of people who are trying to make a marriage when you have no idea what it is or looks like.